I have been writing about the heart all this month, thanks to a reader’s questions. But I would be missing something if I did not speak about the hardened heart. The Bible uses this term in a number of places and urgently warns us about having a hardened heart. What are the signs of a hardened heart? In this article I will speak of 7 signs of a hardened heart, but most importantly, share God’s cure for it. God can, in this, as in all things, bring healing.
In a previous article, I wrote about the difference between the soul and the heart. The soul encompasses the mind, will, and emotions. The heart is seen as the seat of emotions, aspirations, and beliefs, and is therefore, part of the soul of a person.
Now, Jesus said that “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks,” (Luke 6:45 ) and therefore the condition of one’s heart is so important. What we say and do starts out in our hearts.
And King Solomon said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) It seems pretty important, then, that we attend to the condition of our hearts to keep them soft and good.
What are the 7 signs of a hardened heart?
A hardened heart is basically a heart that is unmoved by things others would be compassionate about. It is a heart that is rebelling against God. But, there’s more. Here is a list of 7 strong warning signs that a heart has hardened and needs repair:
- Lack of ability to perceive, remember, or grasp events or ideas coming from God.
- Insensitivity to sin, sinfulness.
- Failure to follow God’s commands, the way of Jesus, the voice of the Holy Spirit.
- Arrogance and pride.
- One is easily offended, resentful, lacks ability to forgive.
- Indifference to the Word of God.
- Unbelief, drawing away from God.
And, if we think a hardened heart only occurs in someone who does not believe in God or perhaps in the most notorious of hardened hearts owners, Pharaoh, we’re mistaken. Yes, Pharaoh was the ruler described in the Book of Exodus in the Bible who would not let the Israelites leave their slavery and his country, Egypt. No matter how many plagues God sent on him and the Egyptians, Pharaoh continued to have an increasingly hard heart and would not let the people go.
Jesus chides the disciples about hardness of heart
But, here’s the truth. “Anyone’s heart can harden, even faithful Christians. In fact, in Mark 8:17-19, we see Jesus’ own disciples suffering from this malady. The disciples were concerned with their meager bread supply, and it was clear that each of them had forgotten how Jesus had just fed thousands with only a few loaves. Questioning them as to the hardness of their hearts, Christ spells out for us the characteristics of this spiritual heart condition as an inability to see, understand, hear, and remember.” (from an article on www.gotquestions.org)
Here is that Bible passage:
“Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them, ‘Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?’
‘Twelve,’ they replied.”
So, hardness of heart can be in any one of us if we don’t “stay on our toes.”
How does a heart get hardened?
How do our hearts grow hard, unfeeling, disobedient, and cold?
As you may know or guess, sin is a major component. If we keep on doing something or things that are wrong and don’t repent or stop, our hearts will get hard. Our conscience will no longer get stung by these wrong acts or attitudes. They just become habit and no big deal.
You’ve probably heard of the concept of the “frog in a kettle.” If you put a frog in boiling water, he’ll jump out immediately. But if you put him in a pot and gradually warm the water until it reaches boiling, he’ll probably die in it as he won’t perceive that danger is increasing.
Sin is this way. If we do wrong things a little bit at a time, gradually they get a hold of us, until we don’t think about the wrongness of our actions. But the Bible is very clear, “the wages of sin is death…,” (Romans 6:23) if there is no repentance.
Ingratitude and disappointment also hurt the heart
Jesus accused the disciples of hardness of heart in the event described above (Mark 8:17-19). In fact, more than once they showed that their excitement over a miracle tended to be short-lived. They forgot.
A lot of us can be this way. God moves in our lives. We have a revelation of His love and help. Then, a short time later, we’ve forgotten and are complaining again. This can be the way any one of us behaves. Ingratitude is deadly.
But finally, another way that we develop a hard heart is through disappointment. I actually think this is very common too. You pray for something. It doesn’t happen in the way you were hoping. You get disappointed. Or, perhaps, someone betrays or hurts you. Suddenly, you begin to hold in question the whole idea of being earnest in your faith. “Why bother?” you’re thinking at some level.
We can all get disappointed. People are imperfect. Life is not predictable. It’s necessary to get back up, dust yourself off and keep trying. Developing grudges, resentment, or bitterness always hurts us far more than anyone else. Jesus told us entry into the kingdom could only be done with a childlike, expectant mindset. And, we MUST forgive.
What are the solutions to a hardened heart?
So, what are the solutions to a hardened heart? You might be surprised, after I’ve described sin and pride and such that I’m going to end this by sharing a moving story I read on the Bible in One Year website (from the Alpha program) This is a bible reading program so that you read the whole Bible with very easy to understand commentary in one year.
Here’s the story:
A soldier came to an Alpha session at Holy Trinity Brompton Church in London. Alpha is for non-believers to explore the Christian faith in a safe, no pressure environment. This man had been having knee pain for twelve years. There was no cartilage left in his knee. On top of that, he tore the ligaments and tendons in his knee. He could neither sit nor stand for very long because of the intense pain.
By his own description, the soldier had “decided to try God and try Alpha.” Though in the program, he was not going to the church. With “much hesitation,” he decided to go.
There, he heard people testifying about their healings from God and in his mind, he was thinking, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” His heart was hardened against God. But, then, someone had a word of knowledge (1 Corinthians 12:8) about missing knee cartilage.
The soldier sucked in his breath and went forward to receive the prayer he didn’t believe in and encountered a miracle. God healed his knee and he began to run again. And draw nearer to God.
What should we do to repair our stony hearts?
To cure the hardness of our hearts, we need to humble ourselves and repent. Repentance does not just mean that we feel badly about something and regret it, but it means primarily, that we turn in the opposite direction. We “go completely the other way.”
And, we need to dive deeply into God’s Word. The Bible renews our minds and brings our thoughts into conformity with God’s heart.
Finally, we need to obey what we hear and read from God. When we hear that “still, small voice” of the Spirit, we need to hop to it and do what God is leading us to do.
But, here’s the really good news. As for the soldier above, God is a God of surprises for us too. In those times of our lives when we get jaded from people letting us down, from setbacks; when we’ve failed and given into temptation, God has a way of touching our lives and bringing us back.
Just as the soldier described above received a healing he never expected, God breaks into our lives too with truth, a bit of kindness, a healing, resources, unexpected aid and our hearts soften because of Him.
Do you recall when Jesus restored Peter?
The apostle Peter was at one point, a disappointed, jaded disciple on the beach by the Sea of Galilee (See John 21). He had denied he knew Jesus in the high priest’s courtyard, not once but three times. So, for a moment, he gave up and went back to fishing.
Remember, Jesus had warned, “If you deny Me before men, I will deny you before My Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 10:33) Peter’s sin of betrayal was no small thing.
And so Peter was suffering from hardness of heart, mad at himself. He was back on the beach, in the fishing boat, turned away from the Lord and from helping people. But, Jesus visited Him suddenly, miraculously and then restored him. Peter entered into ministry with a new heart once again.
Keep in mind the promise of Ezekiel 36:26:
“And I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” God promised. He will do it.
How can you pray about a hardened heart?
If you sense any of the above is true for you or someone you know – arrogance, pride, indifference to sin, coldness to people, don’t wait, pray. Ask the Lord to intervene and to create in you (or them) a new heart. Especially, if this has come about by hurt. In truth, the perfect prayer has already been written for us in these heartfelt lines from Psalm 51:10-12, 15-17:
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me…
Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it…
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart
you God, will not despise.
Create in us all, a newer, fresher, more tender, more true heart, O God. Amen
Further Resources:
Understanding the Healing of Soul Wounds
What are the True Meanings of “soul” and “heart” from a Biblical Perspective?
How and Why Should I Read the Bible?
God Can Heal Us After Betrayal
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This is SO GOOD, Pam! Such a great post full of Godly, Scriptural wisdom about the workings of the human heart and the obstacles we put in place to justify our hardened hearts. How easy it is to slip into hard heartedness. And there is Jesus, arms wide open, his Spirit convicting and softening our hearts, so we will repent and step into Jesus’ embrace. God’s kindness toward us to forgive us and to continue to work in our often hardhearted lives is astonishing!
Melinda, thank you so much. It is amazing, as I began to work on this and write, how God kept pulling me back to seeing his rescue for hardhearted people. That was the extraordinary thing, to see, over and over again, how he breaks through our resistance to Him. Praise God! He is sovereign and He is good.
I’m suffering in my walk with God because of sin, ill will and unforgiving for petty things. Basically I have developed a hardened heart. I found your article from July 1st, 2021. I’ve already read and prayed it 5 times repenting every time. I plan on making it my morning prayer so I can crawl out of this cesspool I’ve been swimming in and get my heart right with God. Thank you for your ministry in this sermon to me. God Bless You, Gil
Gil,
I am so glad you found this article helpful to you. Trusting in the grace of God and being disciplined are both powerful. By praying daily and recognizing the need to repent (change), you’ve taken a wonderful step. Now remember that God is ever more ready to hear us than we are to pray. I simply mean he has a good father’s heart and longs for his children to “come home.” He’s waiting for you. Every blessing in Christ.
I want to thank you for this article.
You are so very welcome. God will help us have a softened heart! He is trustworthy.
Your article was very helpful to me, thank you!!
Josephine, I am so glad the article was helpful. Thank you for reading.
Thank you so much for your article Pam! I was literally crying out to GOD to help me because I have been praying that HE helps me with sin for so long. I was so hurt when HE didn’t do it when I needed HIM to rescue me, I wasn’t even aware that my heart was hardened at this point but when you mentioned the signs, I knew. I have blamed GOD for how my life turned out to be, I’m still a new Christian in the faith but I feel like I had so many things come at me at once, I couldn’t handle it.
I want to be intentional about releasing the hurt I have and allowing GOD to restore me.
Thank you for being a vessel for GOD! GOD Bless you abundantly.
I hope to share my testimony soon.
Mamello, I hope you will find strength from God to walk according to His ways by the power of His Spirit in you. The Holy Spirit will teach and guide you and caution you when you are getting off track. You can grow up in the Lord and become increasingly holy. He will do it for you!
Hello Gil Venditelli
You posted this since March 23, 2022. I just want to know if you’ve been able to crawl out of the pool you’ve been swimming in.
Scripture says ‘If a righteous man/woman falls seven times, he/she will rise again.
May the Grace and Strength of Jesus that keeps a man standing locate and keep you…. Amen
SHALOM
How has he helped you to soften your heart? I am fighting with unbelief right now.
After 26 years of God’s faithfulness to me, I have decided after questioning often that He can’t exist from nothing. If everything came from something, how did God come about?
I know perfection cannot come from imperfection, so no one can be perfect as Jesus is. But how can perfection come from nothing?
Terri, You are not the first person to ask these questions, but we have to accept that probably no human being can answer them satisfactorily. Some things are mystery and beyond are capacity to explain. But what we can understand is Jesus revealing the heart of God. We can grasp, to a certain extent, how good He is and what He did for us by paying the price for our sin. We can read scriptures about God’s love and let as much as we are able permeate our hearts. Focus on what you can know and understand as a human being here and now.
Hi Pam
I just came across your article about a hardened heart. This is where I am today. Please pray for me that
Carolyn,
I am writing your name in my prayer list journal. God will help you gain a softened heart. He wants it for you more than anyone. Bless you!
Please i really need help.I need a continuous counseling from you to help me get connected to God again.Am being afflicted with envy,selfishness,doubt,pride.And am loosing my sensitivity too.
El, what would be better is if you could connect with a pastor or other Christian leader in a church near you – someone that you could meet with face to face and talk about your disconnect from God. One of the first steps in recovering your life and your God sensitivity is to focus on God’s heart, God’s character – not on your flaws. Hating yourself changes nothing. Focus on the goodness of God through listening to good, Bible based messages, read the Bible for yourself, and pray. Ask God to help. He is always so willing to help us. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8
Hello sister Pam Morrison
Was just searching for the meaning of a hardened heart as I’m reading this book by David Wilkerson, Hungry for more of Jesus.
And I found your definition very helpful and the insights you gave and on it
God really bless your ministry
And please continue to display your light the world and the church needs it🙏🙏
Thank you so much for your kind words. David Wilkerson is a leader that I admire very much. May the desire of you of your heart for more of Jesus be met.
“With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith.” 2 Thessalonians 1:11
Pam- I cannot express my thankfulness at coming across this today! 6/7/22. God spoke to me in a mighty way that I had not seen, as my heart being hardened. I was looking up the Scripture from Exodus, to pray, and God led me to this page. Psalm 51:10 is a constant Pray of mine and completely wrapped this up for me, as I Prayed it. Thank you for you our obedience in using your gift for the Kingdom. *I also read Ezekiel & was blessed by that knowledge💜
God bless you so much, Mona. I am so glad God spoke to you through this article. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Thanks so much for this soul saving knowledge. Many lives are destroyed because of hardened hearts, but this article is a heart changing medium from ignorance.
Emmanuel, Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. Yes, God can soften the hardest of hearts. We can each change!
Thank you so much for this article!
Alisha, I am so glad that you found the article. Thank you for reading and commenting. It’s much appreciated!
I really enjoyed reading your article. It definitely brought a lot of things into perspective for me. It opened up my eyes and made me realize that, I too can have a hardened heart. But by the grace of God, I’m able to get back on track.
God Bless You!
Aly,
I’m so glad the article was helpful to you and that you saw that God’s grace is ever available to get you back on track if you need it.
I appreciate this article. I struggle with a hardened heart and subtle ways I really have a hard time expressing but reading it gave me a lot of Hope. Thank you
Joseph, I am so glad you felt hope as you read the article. That is what I felt as I wrote it – I felt God saying repeatedly, “Tell them I will create in them a new heart. I will melt what is hardened.” I know He does not give up on us but continues to work at our transformation. Thank you for reading and commenting. I am grateful for that!
I appreciated this article so much and it met me right where I’m at. I’ve felt this distancing between myself and God, almost as though I’ve been running like Jonah and unable to stop. I knew God didn’t move, I did. In my pride I continued to serve (or appeared to) when in reality I was serving myself. My whole life I’ve needed approval and always found ways to earn it. Everything was linked to my performance. I realize now, I’m still performing, but in a different arena.
Im surrendering my life and my will to His and trusting God to lead me back to His fold.
Peggy,
Thank you so much for reading and commenting on the article. I am glad it was helpful. Keep in mind that many times we perform because we can’t believe we are loved. Grasping that we are loved by God and never will He leave us or forsake us is such an essential in the Christian life but so many of us wrestle with the concept. As a recovering perfectionist, I know this struggle firsthand. I pray that your surrender and search to trust God with an undivided heart will be filled with blessing and surprises.
Your article was very helpful to me, thank you!!
This is so encouraging! Praise God for His mercy and kindness. God’s timing is perfect! Thank you for replying to these comments. This has been so helpful and hopeful. God bless you.
Lisa,
I am so glad that you found this post helpful. I agree. Seeing the comments shows how many have a concern about this issue, but also how merciful God is. Bless you much.
Simply A Blessing! An Enlightening Inspiration!
Cee, Thank you for your kind words. They are deeply appreciated. God bless you so much.
God richly bless you.
Thank you, my friend. And God richly bless you also. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.
Afraid I may have blasphemed the Holy Spirit. Was ill for months ! The Holy Spirit departed May 15th 2021. My heart is hardened terribly. Not able to pray or read bible anymore. God revealed to me what Ive done. My life has been crazy! So afraid for my after life. I find myself doing things that are sinful more often . just need help. Only 37 and this is not ok
Joan, I will write you so we can talk and help you get back on track.
I would like some help too
Dayanana, You have written some longer comments which I have read. I can hear your struggle to feel close to God again and your struggle with things that you don’t like in yourself.
As I mentioned to someone else on this thread, sometimes we try so hard to fix ourselves. And, it can seem like the harder we try, the worse we get in our behavior or thinking.
If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, try your best to say, “Even though I failed again, I believe Jesus. I am covered with His righteousness. He will change me from the inside out.” You declare that and declare that and declare that over yourself until things begin to shift as He, by His Spirit, does supernatural work within you.
If you can, buy a devotional by Joseph Prince called Destined to Reign and read it every day. It will change how you approach your struggles. And you will find God again the way you used to connect to Him.
If you would like to talk with me more, write me at my email, pam@pammorrisonministries.com or contact me on the contact page of the website.
I am very blessed by this article. Thank you so much!
Nicole, thank you so much for taking time to read the article and I am so glad you have felt blessed. May God continue to richly bless you in every way.
I need help I’m dealing with worldly sorrow and my heart is not in the right place I’ve tried and tried to change it.. My heart is hardening and I’m trying to get to the point of experiencing Godly sorrow and true repentance I just feel numb and that I’m struggling to feel and accept Gods love for me
Ashley, I am so sorry you are suffering like this. You know that Christ died for every sin. There is nothing you have done or thought that He did not take to the cross and pay the price for. It is useless for you to endlessly try to correct yourself. He is the One who paid the price. So, your one job is to say to yourself, “Jesus took care of this for me.” I am free and forgiven. He does love you so much. Put the worship songs on that you love. Gaze at pictures of Him holding sinners, holding children. Turn your eyes upon Jesus as the song says. I will pray for you, Ashley.
I found this article yesterday but feel asleep. I tried so hard to find it again but just couldn’t even after praying to tears. I needed to find it because I knew there was something that made so much sense And I felt better but I couldn’t even remember what it was. God answered and I found this article again. I think I do have some of the things listed so maybe I have a slightly hardened heart. I’ve prayed deeply for 35 years for God to take away my anxiety and he hasn’t. I have the worst OCD, PTSD and just anxiety period. I dislike hearing “in Gods time” After praying to tears for 35 years. I always feel doomed. Fear is not of God. My anxiety is based on fear. So I feel if I’m fearful so badly and fear is not of God then how can I be his child. It takes a half hour to get dressed. I quit cooking because there’s just far too many rituals. It’s alot easier to make a gross sandwich and call it a day. My family has all basically dumped me and I don’t have any friend. The people from church don’t care for me. They sense something’s off but have no clue I’m just trying to hide my OCD. Some ignore me, Some are in a different click and some use me as the scapegoat for things. I think people mistake humbleness for weakness. I just forgive easily. That’s just me. I don’t like being abused. I am a great grandmother but have never been in love yet nor have I started living. I have not a soul to talk to so I don’t have a second (where 2 or more are gathered). If anyone would please pray with me that God takes this horrid anxiety away I would be highly grateful. If I could get all my prayers answered I wouldn’t even want anything wild. I just want good health, to be financially sound and free from the anxiety.
Dear Cheryl, you are God’s child. I am so sorry for this complex and long period of suffering with anxiety at the heart of it. Cheryl, I will write you a personal message and talk further about finding healing and relief. God bless you.
Cheryl’. I so much feel your pain for I have similar issues as you. I have found relief with medication. I had to try a few but settled with Paxil and my anxiety has settled enough that my agoraphobia is now controlled. I debated on medication feeling I was weak if I took any. Then I read that God gave man knowledge to make medication to help us If you take medication and are still this way you either need a higher dose or a new medication. Please do not despair as there is help and it is perfectly ok!
I am facing lot of problems but after reading the article hope is restored in me.May God help me ??
God can help you and God will. That is the good news. Keep hoping in that.
Cheryl I really feel where you’re coming from. That’s how I feel as well. It’s strange how people can say the things you want to say, and that’s what I’m talking about. I pray for you, that God will restore you whole. I pray that God will renew your mind and give you a new heart. So that you can be free. Whom the Son has set free is free indeed. I pray that the peace of God will be your portion and all that He has in store for you. Not to harm you but to give you a future and hope. In Jesus Name Amen. God bless you.
Hey so a few months back I thought I was getting closer to God. Then I got these blasphemous thoughts and evil thoughts about God. I know I’m not supposed to laugh but I found one of them funny. And now I’m in this cycle where they keep coming up and I keep smiling at them. I don’t think I respect God anymore. I try my best and resist my hardest to not laugh but I always fail. I don’t feel Holy Spirit convicting me and I’ve asked for it but I didn’t receive. I don’t want to fall away from God. I feel I can’t repent because every time I say I’m sorry with the intent to change I always fall back into it. I think my heart is really hard. Please pray for me. I am young in the faith and only 15 years old. Thank you to whoever sees this. Also I think I mocked God.
Aiden, You are 15. Do you know it’s another 10 years before your brain will actually be a “young adult brain.” Your thinking and self-control are maturing.
That being said, we do need to fear the Lord and be reverent towards Him. I think a key line in your message is “I feel I can’t repent because every time I say I’m sorry with the intent to change I always fall back into it.” How about saying a prayer this way, “Jesus, I cannot do this, but you can. Help me. Change how I think. Keep me captivated with you.” See if that switch from you trying to control yourself to you being helped by Jesus, your Friend, changes what happens. People have “quit” doing all sorts of things by really putting the burden for the change back on Jesus, our wonderful cross bearer. God bless you. Don’t worry.
God loves you! Jesus came that we may hav life, declare over yourself that God is Lord over your life. Continue to find scripture and declare them over yourself! You are a child of the most high God! In Jesus Name!
Such wonderful advice, Monique
I really enjoyed reading the information you have provided and has been a great help to me and I can pass it along to others but at this that I feel can you use it
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I’m 18 and struggle with this a lot sometimes :(( I’ve departed from the sin I used to frequently indulge in, I keep declaring in my heart that I accept God and love him and need him, yet at the same time I feel so spiritually dry. Like I’m not thrumming with the same life, peace and love I felt when I first encountered him. Everytime I think of following God and accepting Jesus, there’s still a small part in me holding back. And I’ve cried and prayed, but it’s still there at times. I’m trying to wait for him to renew me, and I feel it increasing some days–yet for some reason something in me is scared of fully giving in all at once. Is this normal? :(( I yearn for him, I want to love him without doubt or hesitation.
Hi Marla,
I’m going to send you an email, but I know others will read your comment and say, “I feel like this too.” I wish we always, constantly, felt the warm, extraordinary presence of God, but for all of us, me included, there are moments when we say, “I’m not feeling Him near.” That’s why Paul wrote several times in His letters, “the just shall live by faith.”
In other words, sometimes, when you don’t feel something with your emotions, just keep going by what you’ve read and thought about in His word. Let me share a story about the great evangelist, Billy Graham, that might help you (it’s a little long, but you’ll be glad if you read it:
I read Billy Graham’s autobiography, “Just As I Am” at Gordon-Conwell seminary. Billy Graham wrote of a time when one of his friends was mocking him – “Billy, stop being such a hick. No one believes the Bible like you do. You need to get sophisticated and adapt a view of it like the intellectuals of our time.”
I’m paraphrasing his words, but the pressure on Billy Graham was a lot. He wondered if he was backward.
But, one night while at a conference at the Forest Home Retreat Center, he went out in the moonlight, put his Bible on a stump and began to pray. He wrestled before God with the disturbance in his mind. Then, he says, the Holy Spirit, finally freed him to say, “Father, I’m going to accept this as Your Word – by faith! I’m going to allow faith to go beyond my intellectual questions and doubts, and I will believe this to be Your inspired Word.” p. 139
When he got off his knees he says he sensed the presence and power of God in a way he hadn’t in months. After this he began the Los Angeles crusade. Expecting it to go a certain number of weeks with a certain level of attendance, he and the other leaders involved were amazed by the flood of people and the extension of weeks and the fruit of the crusade.
He said, “For that time, the statistics [of the meeting] were overwhelming. In 8 weeks, hundreds of thousands had heard, and thousands responded to accept Christ as Savior; 82 percent of them had never been church members.” p. 157
Was it because he simply put his faith in the Bible as being true? Holiness involves so many things – trusting God and obeying Him are part of it. And out of those mind sets come tremendous blessings.
My husband passed away September first 2021 of a heart attack brought on by double pneumonia. He was only 62. We have been together for 23 years. After he passed away I hated God I hated any religion I refuse to pray I refuse to go to church but I never refuse to say anything bad about the Holy Spirit because I know if I did I would be doomed. It has been such a long painful journey in my husband I still cry I still miss him I still beg God for an answer why why why why God did you take him when you knew how much I needed him? He is one of God‘s angels now and in the loving arms of Jesus however I still struggle with accepting why God would take him from my family knowing how much he was needed in our family. He was the patriarch of our family and we all depended on him we all needed him but most of all we all loved him in our hearts so how could God take from us? I still struggle with my feelings towards God because of this I know my heart was deeply hardened and I was scared because of it but when I was crying my eyes out I didn’t care if it was hard and I was just so angry anger anger anger anger all I felt. I am trying to deal with my anger and my sadness.
Monica, how deep your grief is. To be together 23 years and to love your husband so much, to see him as the patriarch of the family – I know your pain is excruciating. My heart goes out to you.
Monica, I see disease as a great enemy of humanity. I see it that way because Jesus saw it that way. It is the work of the devil, not God, in my thinking. I have come to see God as the one who pulls me through when the devil steals my health or the health of a loved one. I base my thinking on 1 John 3:8. In that verse it says, “It is for this reason that Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil.” Because I think this way, I never think of God as putting something on me or taking a loved one from me. Yet, it is a mystery why some are healed and others are not.
If you have a moment, click on the Somebody Testify (the blog’s name) button on my website and search through the articles for these two:
“Is it possible to recover from grief? You can live and love again”
and “Why does God allow evil to exist?” In this second article, I tell the story, near the end, of the death of a 24 year old young man in a horrible car accident. His father’s refusal to blame God and why he doesn’t blame God are so helpful when you are understandably feeling heartsick and doubting God’s goodness. Anger is part of grief, so don’t feel guilty. I just pray for you to find God again and to find healing and hope. Bless you, my friend.
This was very refreshing to read. Lately, I’ve been extremely bitter and frustrated with life, even though I got saved over 20 years ago. I feel that my heart is hardened and I’m not feeling the joy of the Lord anymore. I was told by some people that once your heart hardens, you cannot get back. What a joy that God can soften my heart and bring me back to Him!!!
Tommy, I’m glad the article gave you hope. May you experience a personal revival that wipes out the discouragement and disappointment that crept in around your heart during the past 20 years. May you encounter a fresh wave of joy and a fresh awareness of how precious you are to God. A fresh start in 2022!
This article is blessed. Ever since I was a kid I don’t know why but Ive always wanted to make myself feel important by showing stuff that I had or can do. As a kid my father left when I was 2 years old to travel and raise money for the family. So I never got to bond with him. In fact the first time I’ve seen him I thought he was my uncle. I remember thinking “I have a dad?” All throughout the year I guess I was trying to hide the pain by trying to find validation through things. I went through such horrible things as a child that I haven’t told people. I felt like I never truly enjoyed life. Ever, like I always tried distracting myself. From 9th grade to 12th I went through a lot of shame and embarrassments in school that led to countless times of crying feeling like no body could ever understand me. I got backstab multiple and multiple times, I got embarrassed betrayed by those I called my friends. I got treated, oppressed by even some family members. Those experiences has hardened my heart. I got saved almost 2 years ago. But it feel now as if my heart is getting harder instead of soft. Please I need help, I need guidance. I need help. I want to fully accept Jesus, I want to truly accept his love for me, I want to truly accept the father as my father. But it seem like it’s this fear of how I got rejected so many times and abandoned and backstab in me. I don’t want any of it. I want to get rid of it all. I know God led me here for a reason. I was just praying and praying and I went online to find something. Your site was the first thing I click. Please help me
I am so sorry for all the heartache you have experienced and that it colors your experience with God. Many times rejection makes us feel like God, whether thinking about Him as Father, Son, or Holy Spirit, will reject us too. But keep in mind this one scripture that says something different. “Though my father and mother forsake (reject) me, the LORD will receive me.” (Psalm 27:10) I have a note in my Bible next to that which says, “Even is EVERYONE turns away, including one’s own parents, God will hold you dear.” He is “near to the brokenhearted and those crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) Ignore the lies the enemy is trying to tell you – God loves you. Run to Him. I will write you more by email. God bless you.
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Thank you for sharing this information, this really touched my heart when I needed it. I have been getting signs from god with the numerous sighting of “11” and it really touches me. I know he loves me and that this is a sign from him, I can just feel it.
Nathan,
God is so very personal at the same time that He loves and cares for all of us. I am so glad you stopped by and that your heart was touched. May you see constant signs of God’s love and care for you. As you say, they are very real. God bless you!
My heart is very hardened so much so that I am struggling to believe in even Jesus. Normally when I had a faith crisis, I would be stressed and heavily burdened, but this time my heart is so hard that I feel nothing despite my horrible spiritual condition. I don’t know what sin I did. I sin a lot, but there was nothing particularly glaring I remember — I was still talking to God and all. One day I just woke up and suddenly didn’t worry about hell or salvation or anything.
If I don’t have a broken heart over sin and am not sincerely desperate over my hard heart, how can it be healed anyway?
Please pray for me if you could 🙁
Sophie,
I will pray. Meantime, you please stay in the Word, keep going to worship – do these things through an exerting of your will not because of your feelings. Sometimes, we go through dry spells and think “this is it – I no longer care.” But, if you’ll stay in the Word and in worship and try to pray as best you can – faith has a pathway through which it can come flooding back. And faith is trust in God.
Developing a hardened heart can be subtle. I think most of us do not realize its happening until we get to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves.
Felicia,
So very true. It is a subtle and slow disconnect. The thing I want people to understand is that it is not a hopeless state. There is a coming back that is possible because all things are possible with God. Thank you for reading and writing. God bless you so much.
Thank you for this. I currently love someone who has a hardened heart. Someone who when I asked for closure to our relationship he asked what do I gain from this conversation. I replied doing right by your soul. Needless to say he kept responding instead of listening. Its hard to watch someone go from a beautiful spirit to a hardened heart who you love unconditional for a reason you didn’t create. All because of fear to love. Thank you for the word and the prayers. I needed this to study and meditate as I remind myself the power of God even though I’m hurting.
Courtney,
I’m so very sorry you are going through this pain. I pray God will help you to recover, to grow, to understand, to feel deeply loved by God.
What a ‘heart’y find this morning!!!
My heart seems to have moved from a place of brokenness to a place of cement-like ‘hardenedness’ as a result of cumulative personal trauma (aka heartbreak).
Your offering has inspired me to “dive [more] deeply into God’s Word [to renew my mind and bring my thoughts] into conformity with God’s heart” … I am grateful beyond words.
Oh Deb, I am so glad you are going to dive more deeply into God’s Word. I hope you hear Him saying, “My sweet Deb, how’ve I’ve missed you. don’t ever let heartbreak from people pull you from Me again. I am Your refuge always.” God bless you, my friend.
Hello sister Pam Morrison
Was just searching for the meaning of a hardened heart as I’m reading this book by David Wilkerson, Hungry for more of Jesus.
And I found your definition very helpful and the insights you gave and on it
God really bless your ministry
And please continue to display your light the world and the church needs it🙏🙏
Lady Pam,
The Almighty God richly bless you for such a great article! My ministry has a prayer session tonight praying for lost souls (that God should give them repentant hearts to Christ based on Acts 26 v 18) and during my research, I ‘stumbled across’ your article! Well, we will be changing the prayer topic to healing of our hearts first and once the Holy Spirit deals with us, we can then move on wholeheartedly and willingly in all humility, brokenness of ourselves to reach out in prayer to the lost. God help us all to experience His healing totally and continuously. Amen. Ms. Patience Abraham
Patience,
God bless you so much, your ministry, and those in ministry with you. May you feel a deepened awareness of how much God loves you and may you pass that on to others and bring many into the kingdom of God through your evangelism. Praise God for your Work!!
You are truly an inspiration l enjoyed reading this l m there nothing seems to be working though n l lack consistently in everything l do. I start something but never finishes why is that??
Alina, There can be different reasons for not finishing things, but I think one of the biggest reasons is that a person has a background of feeling unworthy. Maybe lonely or rejected as a child. Perhaps, you don’t feel you have many people who think very well of you.
Of course, there could be other reasons. But, here is a simple way to start changing. First of all, talk to God about needing to feel His love deeply and in a real way. Tell Him you want to be a person who finishes things and succeeds. Then take a look around at all the things that need finishing – make a list perhaps. Pick out the smallest and easiest “project,” and tell yourself I’m going to get this done! Then make a plan. What do you need to do to get it done? Give yourself some simple steps and just start. Set a deadline. “I will have it done by a certain date. I know you can do this!!!
Pam,
I had a dream two nights ago where a women entered into my workplace (looked like a bank with teller windows.) I walked out of my office and the women looked at me and said, I’m looking for the manager? I responded that I was the manager and she then looked at me and said, “you have a hard heart.” I responded calmly and said: “I’m not sure I understand, I am a Godly women but if he is trying to tell me something then I’m here to listen. I then woke up. I have been searching my heart for any hardness and praying God to heal me. This article spoke to me. I will use the prayer daily and I ask God to cleanse anything that I maybe carrying that I am unaware of. Thank you so much.
Vickie, what a blessing to get a very clear dream as a form of guidance. Here are my thoughts that I offer humbly. Your place of work in the dream is a bank, a place where treasure is kept. You are the manager of this place. A woman (angel?) brings you a message and it is “You have a hard heart.” Well, none of us likes that message! But many of us have been there at one time or another – needing the help of receiving it. I mean that very sincerely. It is a blessing to get guidance from the Holy Spirit even if it sounds corrective. Right? The Lord may be saying that you are holding on to your “treasure” too tightly. There may be a way of giving in your life that you’ve been reluctant to do. That’s not just about money, but sometimes we hold back from others or from God in a variety of ways because of fears or old wounds. It may be that God knows you will experience life more abundantly if you are less careful about something. More free, more generous with yourself. It is hard to know. But, my sense is that whenever God speaks to us about making a change, He does it with the utmost love and valuing of us. He just knows the slight adjustment will bring more life to us. God bless you, Vickie!
I’m glad I came across this article because without realizing it, I had harden my heart towards God. While speaking to my counselor, she showed me I had harden my heart towards my husband. When I realized this, I started searching my heart because I wondered if I had harden my heart towards other people and God.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I would get up early to pray and was hungry for God’s Word. In this time, my mother in law had a stroke and ended up in the hospital. God has blessed me with the gifts of healing and God has used me and I have seen people healed. Well, when my mother in law was paralyzed on one side because of the stroke, I fasted and prayed and watched healing videos, study healing scriptures, etc. I wanted so much for her to be healed. When I saw her days later, her condition got worse and I prayed, looking for a miracle or healing of some sort. She passed away days later and I was disappointed. I had harden my heart not realizing it at that moment. Days after her passing, I found myself not wanting to pray, study the Word of God and I no longer wanted to get up early to spend time with Him. I searched myself because I knew it was shortly after we had visited my husband’s mom in the hospital. The truth was I felt disappointed because God didn’t answer my prayer the way I wanted him too. This was my will and my desire. I never asked God what was his will and desire was pertaining to my mother in law. This was a valuable lesson learned for me.
Thank you for this article.
Annie, I am so sorry you lost your mother-in-law following this stroke. You are clearly sad and grieving a great deal. I think, like many of us, you hungered to flow in the healing ministry even more by seeing the healing of someone so close to you. And, it didn’t happen. The natural human response is to be sad and to be disappointed. But, I am glad you are trying to address your heart and say to yourself, “Get back up. Realign with the God you love.”
Healing is a mystery. Many get healed that we never expected would be healed. And sometimes, despite our prayer and fasting, we lose others. Someday, perhaps, we can say to the Lord, “Why is it like this? Why isn’t everyone healed when we pray for them?”
Until then, it is so important to trust and to keep clinging to God. Who else do we have but Him for the words of life and hope? Habakkuk 3:17-19 are beautiful verses for when we don’t understand our losses but want to hold onto God. Bless you. I know you will come out of this rough patch.
I am at Witt’s end with my husband and then I come across this message 🙏🏾❤️. I would love for you to pray with me.
Kelly, I am sorry you are in a difficult season in your marriage. I will pray for you. All things are possible with God including healing of a marriage in which there’s pain.
This is the problem with debating Christians who believe that they can sense the presence of the living Jesus within them: Regardless of the quantity and quality of the historical evidence that we skeptics present, evangelical Christian apologists will ignore it if it at all challenges their personal experience of Jesus living within them. And apologists will ignore any majority expert opinion which casts doubt on their personal experience of a resurrected Jesus living within them. This is why I believe that most evangelical Christians reject the majority expert opinion that the Gospels were not written by eyewitnesses or the close associates of eyewitnesses. Since their personal experiences tell them that Jesus did rise from the dead, the Gospel stories must be historically accurate. Their personal experiences with Jesus rule out even the possibility that the stories surrounding the death and alleged resurrection of Jesus are legends or theological/literary embellishments (fiction).
Bottom line: No amount of historical evidence is going to convince a Christian apologist who believes that he or she can perceive the living Jesus within their “heart” that Jesus is dead.
https://lutherwasnotbornagaincom.wordpress.com/2022/12/19/dear-christian-apologist-if-jesus-lives-in-your-heart-why-bother-us-with-historical-evidence/
Gary, You have left your Baptist and Lutheran experiences behind. Previously, you wanted to draw people to them. Now, you would like to convince evangelical Christians that their “feelings” of Jesus’ presence are a false perception and that they are keeping them from the truth. That is your pathway. I have eight years of seminary training and much exposure beyond that to your point of view and the “leading voices” who agree with your current perspective. However, my experience of the living Lord, the power of the Holy Spirit, signs, wonders, and miracles makes me – yes – unreachable by your arguments. I am not an evangelical Christian, by the way. I am a Pentecostal. God bless you as you pursue what seems right for you. Some day we will know who has been fooled.
Hi Pam,
I felt the pain of the Holy Spirit leaving me back on September 30, 2021. With His departure, another spirit entered into my heart. My heart feels, hardened, empty and numb all at the same time. Since then, I have had tormenting thoughts of hell and the lake of fire every day. Doctors diagnosed me with schizophrenia (even though I am a 40 year old man, who was 38 at the time) and had no signs up until this all happened. I am afraid I am a reprobate and beyond redemption. I would take the prescribed medication/pills even though I know that what I was dealing with was not mental but spiritual. I fell into more sin and have evil/bad thoughts cross my mind and heart.
The joy and peace I once had seems to be gone. I try to repent and renounce everything that comes to mind that I may have done wrong but the pain in my chest lingers.
I have lost pleasure in reading the Bible, going to church and praying. I have even sought deliverance ministries to help me with no success. I am afraid that I may have blasphemed the Holy Spirit (I am not 100% sure exactly what it is). I don’t hear from the Holy Spirit like I used to. What should I do? I don’t want to end up in hell.
Adrian, I do not want you to worry excessively because God will help you get back on track with Him. I am going to write you privately. Bless you.
I feel my heart is extremely calloused after being so close to Jesus when I was younger. I never knew falling repeatedly into habitual sin and stumbling can gradually harden the heart.
I’m not who I was in Christ anymore. I’m suffering badly and I failed to understand the holy Spirit and his role in my life. I feel I committed the unpardonable sin
Aaron, it is clear from your words that you feel deeply saddened by what you are experiencing as a disconnect from the Lord. People who have committed the unpardonable sin do not feel the sadness and longing that you are feeling. You can return to being close to Jesus. You have named a couple of the issues. Repeatedly sinning takes us away from Jesus because we feel constantly ashamed. Repent. Ask Him to remind you that He died on the cross for you, giving you forgiveness at that point. Ask Him to help you receive again the knowledge that in Him you are forgiven and offered new life.
Get back up and try again. The second thing you say is that you “failed to understand the Holy Spirit and His role in your life.” Find a good study on the Holy Spirit. Open up your Bible and read everything you can about Him. Ask God to fill you with His Spirit and keep on asking until you sense something has changed. It doesn’t mean you’ll have some overwhelming dramatic experience. Some people do. Others become quietly aware of the Spirit. Maybe words in the Bible begin to have deeper meaning. You feel a warmth in your heart at moments – like in worship or when you’re reading the Bible. Those are signs of the Spirit’s presence too.
Don’t give up and don’t live in condemnation. That is not from God. He wants you to know Him and feel joy. God bless you. Hope things get better.
I love this article as well. I still have so much going on in my mind though. I just want to be free and have peace to love God without feeling like it’s a chore every time I try to read and pray.
Sherlonda, if it feels like a chore, we’re off track. We’ve strayed from the love of God to legalism. So, you are right, you should feel freedom, peace, and joy in loving God. The reason why I told the story of the soldier who was healed by God even while being so resistant to God was to show the beauty of God’s heart towards us. He breaks in when we have done nothing to deserve it. He softens our hardened hearts. Nevertheless, we need to grow into reverence and humility towards Him!
I woke up this morning with pain at the center of my chest. Later in the evening, I googled ‘hardened heart’ because that’s what I felt, then found your blog. You’ve described what I’ve been going through. I’m now on a mission of implementing the solutions. Thank you very much.
Mrs Morrison i would like to make a comment about a hard heart like cement. I have a hard heart like cement and i have prayed for a soft heart but nothing i feel god has harden my heart and he took the spirit from me.
I would like to know what the unpardonable sin is? And can i be forgiven for cussing the spirit and saying he sucked
Lori,
The Bible quotes what Jesus said about the unpardonable sin. Jesus said, “Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin.” Mark 3:29
What did He mean? Different pastors and teachers have said various things about this unpardonable sin, but here’s what I will say. Since the Holy Spirit is the one who leads us to Christ, if we refuse to believe, we have resisted the Spirit, and committed the unpardonable sin of unbelief.
If you feel you have turned away from God and feel worried or sorry about it, you have not committed the unpardonable sin – because you still have a conscience and still want to repent. You may have been through many things, Lori, that have disappointed and hurt you – and as a result, you’ve gotten tough and angry.
But, the Holy Spirit is kind. He is love. He wants to help you. So, turn back. Ask Him to melt your heart. Separate Him in your mind from the people and circumstances that have hurt you. I will add you to my prayer list. I want you to realize God is for you and not against you. He’s not the source of the pain you have been through, but He will help you recover from it.